.: Communicate to Connect: The Power of Attunement
By:Randy Siegel
Category:Home / Business / Communication / Presentation
Students of my presentation training often tell me one of the “pearls of wisdom” they value most is learning how to distinguish between a performance and communication orientation.
Speakers with a performance orientation view audiences as critics who are judging how they make their presentation. As a result, these presenters become over-focused on their wording and delivery. Presenters with a communication orientation focus on connecting and communicating with their audiences. They look at presentations as conversations, not performances, and enjoy one-to-one, friendly, personal connection with individuals in the audience.
Understanding the difference between hypervigilance and attunement can be as valuable to great communicators as shifting from a performance to a communications orientation.
When we are hypervigiliant, we are constantly looking for signals that we are not loved, appreciated, respected, cared about and helped enough. We are stressed, fearful and anxious, grounded in a flight-or-fight mentality.
Thirteen years ago, I was appointed general manager of a large public relations firm and charged with building the Atlanta office. Although I did my best to cover it up, I lived in constant fear I might fail.
Uneasy in my new role, I became hypervigiliant. Something as simple as an employee’s suggestion that we do something in a different way felt like a direct assault on my authority. I heard the employee’s suggestion as a criticism that I was not good enough.
Once I became more self-aware and comfortable with myself and my abilities, I began to operate from a place of attunement. I was more relaxed and receptive. My desire was to know, understand, communicate and connect. I was no longer threatened by suggestions. Instead, I welcomed them.
When we are attuned, we resonate with ourselves and other people. We seek connection over safety.
To find attunement, we must first be attuned to ourselves. We have to separate our feelings from those of other people. Becoming aware of our bodies helps us accomplish this.
To tune into your body, take a deep breath, release it fully and drop deep inside. Scan your body. Notice what you are physically feeling. Are you tense? Relaxed? If so where? Just notice, don’t judge.
Monitor emotions, thoughts, judgments, tension and calm. Ask yourself, “What am I feeling now?”
Psychotherapist Charlotte Kasl in her wonderful book If the Buddha Married offers these additional questions to help us be more attuned to ourselves and others:
What is going on with me?
Am I afraid? Am I angry? Am I hurting?
Am I calm? Am I open?
Am I really asking for what I want?
Did I agree to something that I don’t really want to do?
Are feelings of inadequacy or confidence underlying my words?
Am I being honest?
Is there a more skillful way to handle the situation?
When we think we know what another is feeling it can be valuable to ask if we are projecting our own feelings onto others. Is it us or them who are feeling angry, elated, hurt or content?
The journey toward connection challenges us to become more self-aware. By shifting from hypervigilance to attunement, we own our feelings, become more open and receptive and pave the way for authentic communication.
Article keywords: Communication, Randy Siegel
Article Source: http://www.articles32.com
“The Career Engineer,” Randy Siegel, helps clients electrify their careers and transform their lives by becoming high voltage communicators™. Power up and subscribe to “Stand in Your Power!” his complimentary monthly eNewsletter at http://www.powerhousecommunications.com.
.: New Presentation Articles
1). Presentation Skills for Trade Shows
Trade shows give you the opportunity to display and demonstrate your products or services and with some simple tips you can deliver the perfect presentation.
2). How To Write A Reference Letter That Inspires True Confidence
In order to learn how to set up the format for a reference letter in the litigious culture of today, many important factors must be taken into consideration. If you approach it from the stand point that anything you write may end up in a court of law, you will write an excellent sample reference letter.
3). The Many Uses of Loose Leaf Binders
Loose leaf binders are great for keeping anyone organized: students, teachers, and business professionals. Vinyl binders are wonderful for keeping your paperwork protected as well, and sales presentation folders help you make the best presentation that you can.
4). Enhancing Your Corporate Image Through Copywriting
Discover how Copywriting can be used as an effective component of your business marketing strategy.
5). Vinyl Binders Come In Many Colors To Suit Your Every Need
Vinyl binders have changed markedly over the last several years. Previously limited to just a few colors and ring sizes, they have become a staple of not only business but also academic and home lives.
6). The Three Best Ways Of Getting Rid Of Your Fear Of Public Speaking
NLP, EFT and TLM are the most effective ways of getting rid of the fear of public speaking.
7). Seminars - The Real Deal
Do you want to know the quickest way to fast-track your way to success? Do you want to shorten your learning curve by years?
.: Top Presentation Articles
1). The Three Best Ways Of Getting Rid Of Your Fear Of Public Speaking
NLP, EFT and TLM are the most effective ways of getting rid of the fear of public speaking.
2). How To Get Rid of Your Fear of Public Speaking
This article will take you through a process that could help you to get rid of one of the beliefs that cause your fear of public speaking.
3). Presentation Skills - The 10-Second Rule
Your main job as a presenter is to ensure that throughout your presentation, you and everyone in the audience remain on the same page, even the same wavelength, every step of the way. If your slides contain more information that it takes the average listener more than 10 seconds to comprehend, you can’t possibly make this happen.
4). Communicate to Connect: The Power of Attunement
By shifting from hypervigilance to attunement, we own our feelings, become more open and receptive and pave the way for authentic communication.
5). Public Speaking Training- Six Key Elements to Look for In Any Public Speaking Training
Outstanding public speakers are made not born. Public speaking training is essential no matter what your aspirations. Here are 6 elements to check in any public speaking training.
6). Presentation Design – The Right Graph
There are twelve different graph types available with PowerPoint 2000, but few of those styles work well in the low-resolution world of computer-based presentations.
7). Presentation Design – Dealing with the Prohibitor General
When we see a slew of equally bad slides from different people in the same organization, we’re fairly certain that the company has a slew of workers in a Presentation Regulations Department working feverishly to hamstring any attempt by an employee to make their slides understandable, much less compelling.