.: Questionnaire for Discovering our Lessons - part 1
Category:Home / Relationships
Choose a person and specific behavior that bothers you.
The specific behavior on the other’s behalf which bothers me and which I would like to analyze here is___________.
1. The emotions that I feel when the other behaves in this way or when I think of him or her behaving in this way are:
2. I feel this way because I have the following beliefs, which make feel that way:
These three first questions are designed to help us determine exactly what the stimulus, emotions and beliefs are which are bothering us. We must be careful that our answer concerning the first question is actually a behavior and not an interpretation of a behavior. That "the other does not love me" is not a behavior, it is an interpretation of some behavior. Those who are not familiar with the fundamentals of self-analysis, in which we learn to determine the stimulus, the emotions and the beliefs, will benefit from reading the book "The Psychology or Happiness".
Now the questionnaire moves forward to determine the possible aspects of our being which might be mirroring, resonating or projecting.
3. Have I ever behaved in this way towards this person or towards others in the past?
We are often annoyed by behaviors, which remind us of aspects of our own behavior that we do not accept or see in ourselves. Thus we need to confront it in others in order to have a stimulus to recognize it in ourselves and transform it.
In the case that we realize that, yes, in fact, we occasionally behave in this way our lesson could be:
a. To discover and transform the beliefs, habits and attachments which cause us to behave in that way.
b. To accept that behavior in ourselves.
4. Is there a part of myself which might fear something here? What do I fear here? And why do I fear that?
Any behavior which provokes fear in us will obviously be annoying. We might be tempted to create a list of reasons why the other’s behavior is unethical, unsociable and not proper, but more often the truth is that it annoys us because we fear that this behavior will have some negative consequences for us or those close to us.
We must remember that all negative feelings are born from fear and give this question serious thought, looking behind our anger, hurt, resentment, and jealously for the fear which is likely hiding there. The question goes on and on asking why we fear "that", again until we arrive at the basic fear which causes us to be annoyed by that behavior.
The lesson here might be to free ourselves from the beliefs which cause us to fear these behaviors. The root of these fears lie in our past experiences.
Note: Questions 3 and 4 uncover the vast majority of reflections and projections that create our reality. We attract and are annoyed by those behaviors that reflect our own behavior and that which we fear.
5. Is there a part of me that has learned to expect this behavior, which has come to believe that this is the way this person or others will behave?
People often behave towards us in ways that reflect our expectations. If we expect rejection or indifference, we will attract them by sympathetic resonance. The others are simply reflecting back to us our own beliefs and expectations.
Our lesson in such a case might be to free ourselves from the beliefs which cause us to expect these behaviors, and to adopt new beliefs which lead to more positive expectations.
6. Is there a part of me that believes that, for some reason, I deserve this behavior?
If a part of us subconsciously believes that we are not worthy and that we deserve to be treated in this way, then we will naturally attract this behavior. The others may even feel guilty that they are behaving to us in this way, while they are being pushed subconsciously in this direction by our own beliefs about ourselves (Of course they have the free will to overcome our pull in that direction).
Also we will perceive - project this reality even when t does not exist. For example we will perceive rejection, failure or danger where they are not.
Our lesson here is to learn to accept and love ourselves as we are and realize that we deserve each person’s love, acceptance and respect - just as they deserve ours.
Article keywords: relationships, love, mind, evolution, reality, lessons
Article Source: http://www.articles32.com
Robert E. Najemy, author of 25 books and life coach with 30 years of experience, has trained over 300 life coaches and now does so over the Internet. Become a life coach.
Over 600 free article and lectures at
http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/
.: New Relationships Articles
1). Will You Be On Your Own On Valentines Day?
Nobody likes to be on their own on Valentines Day. It is one of the days in the calendar that people are reminded to love and cherish one another. Some people may choose to be on their own and others may not have the choice because of circumstances surrounding their work and family. But, there are still ways you can celebrate Valentines Day when you are on your own.
2). 5 Ways To Improve Your Relationships
A relationship, no matter the type, is like anything else in life and must have some effort put forth in order to be prosperous.
3). Employ Fast Seduction without Cheesy Pick-Up Lines
You might not have an entire evening to flirt with someone, but you still want to be able to convey an interest in attractive people you meet casually. Fast seduction can still be effective without hitting on someone too hard, or using horribly cheesy pick-up lines. Avoid being parodied in the sequel to A Night at the Roxbury and follow these tips for successful fast seduction encounters.
4). The Many Ways to Flirt Online
More than ever before, the internet has become something that almost everyone has. Perhaps they use it for work, or perhaps they use it for leisure. One of the best things about the internet is that it allows people to form communities with their loved ones, in which they can e-mail and instant message each other. This being the case, why not take it a step further and also flirt online?
5). Ideas For Valentines Day Gifts
If you have a look around the shopping malls you will see that there are lots of advertisements for gifts for your Valentine. How well do you know your Valentine? Have you been together days, weeks, months or years? What you spend your money on may be dependent on the length of your relationship. I have put together some valentines day gift ideas, how much you spend is up to you.
6). Thousands Of Marriages Have This Priceless Gift
Did you know you had a hidden treasure in your spouse?
Did you know that you could magically change who they
are? When you read this article you will thump yourself on your forehead and wonder what took you so long.
7). The Romance Of Aromatic Candles
How did we get by before electricity? Candles were an important part of our life back then.
.: Top Relationships Articles
1). Body Language Secrets You Should Know
Even when you don’t say a word, other people can still learn a lot about what kind of person you are and what you are thinking and feeling.
How do other people do this? By studying your body language.
The term body language refers to the messages you send out with your body gestures and facial expressions.
Some body language experts claim that only about 7% of our messages to other people are communicated through the words we speak.
2). How to Start a Conversation with 3 Super Body Language Tips
Using body language to enhance how you start a conversation can lead to great conversation. You do not have to say much just a look or a movement can speak volumes for you.
3). Infidelity: How to Forgive Yourself for Cheating
There is plenty of information available to help the spouse who's been cheated on, yet there is very little information available to help the wayward spouse. Countless relationships end as a result of infidelity. However, it’s not necessarily because the spouse found out and couldn’t forgive the behavior; it’s because the person who cheated couldn’t forgive themselves.
4). How well do you know your own eyes?
A quote
The power of a glance has been so much abused in love stories that it has become to be disbelieved in. Few people dare now say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet in this way that love begins and in this way only. The rest is only the rest, and comes afterwards. Nothing is more real than these great shocks, which two souls give each other in exchanging this spark.
5). Tips To Be A Great Kisser
Learn how to take your relationship or crush to the next level.
6). Tips In Solving Relationship Problems
It can not be denied that relationships have been considered as the source of a loving relationship that is full of support, enthusiasm and pleasure, whether the relationship is in the family or to somebody you are intimately in love with. And we would like to experience such a relationship to last until death. Hence, we exert so much effort in order to nurture and to make it perfect if possible.
7). Ten Signs Of A Serious Relationship
When you are with someone you really care about, how can you tell if that person is the one for you? How can you find out where your relationship stands? Are there any clues that could tell you if the relationship will lead into marriage?
Perhaps you are at the stage where you feel that you are ready to settle down and would like to know if the relationship is going anywhere.