.: Humor Articles
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1)
Halloween Howler
1. What rock star worked as a gravedigger before starting his musical career?
A. Roy Orbison
B. Billy Joel
C. Mick Jaggar
D. Rod Stewart
1. What famous rock star worked as a gravedigger before starting his musical career?
D. Rod Stewart
TBD: That wasn't The QuizQueen's guess either, but that's what the research says!
2. Which tradition was NOT a precursor to Halloween?
A.
article tags: trivia, humor, fun, quiz, test, challenge, halloween, spook, ghost, scare
2)
5 Surefire Ways To Get Over Your Ex
After mountains of letters, tons of emails, and numerous phone calls at 2 a.m. that consisted solely of sobs and sniffles, I have decided to address the issues of breaking up with and getting over ex-lovers. Technically, I am probably not the best person to write this article seeing as I haven't been in a serious relationship since 1999 and even that one involved a stripper, but then again maybe that makes me the perfect person to write this article.
article tags: humor, timothy ward, relationships, breakups, ex-boyfriend, ex-girlfriend
3)
Sun Will Only Burn For 5 Billion More Years; Humans Express Concern
We are often reminded that the sun will only shine in a way that can support life way out here on the earth for only about another five billion years. Sensing the eventuality of the cataclysm, we’re easily inclined to express our concern, along with our sympathetic distress for those far-off folks who will be standing on the earth when old Father Sol begins to turn down the heat.
article tags: humor, comedy, satire, news, newslaugh, laugh, laughs, laughter, spoof, spoofs, skit, skits
4)
The Difference Between An Optimist And A Pessimist
Attitude determines everything. In this humorous exchange between an optimist and a pessimist, we can see how our attitude defines our health, wealth, and experience of luck.
article tags: optimism, pessimism, feeling good, positive thinking
5)
Ken Lay Explains Behavior With Poem From Childhood: "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep."
Ken Lay, the famously charming Texan from dirt-poor beginnings, who rose to be the toast of Houston before Enron, the company he founded, became toast, finally took the stand this week and, as expected, performed in his winning manner.
He based his defense for the debacle that occurred under his chairmanship on a poem that he maintains has shaped his behavior since his mother first read it to him when he was just wee high to an oil pump.
article tags: humor, laugh, laughs, laughter, news, newslaugh, comedy, fun, funny, spoof, spoofs, satire, joke, jokes
6)
Just Say No To Sex
(Extended spoof, presented In 10 installments of 4 pages each. This is the second installment; previous ones are included on this site, in case you miss one.)
"They all seem impressively genuine in their intentions," Dr. Coburn replied. "As young people are prone to do, they actually want to do their part to help save the world – and now they see a practical way to proceed.
article tags: humor, comedy, satire, political satire, laugh, joke, news, news laugh, newslaugh, laughs, laughter, spoof, spoofs, skit, skits
7)
Good News for Goofballs
I've found that there's a gap in the set of self-help and how-to books available. Sure, there are books to improve your outlook, and boost your self-esteem. If you want to learn to cook, or start a business, or patent your idea for self-buttering waffles, there are books to help you. And if you happen to be a dummy -- well, there are entire shelves at the local Barnes and Nobles devoted to you.
article tags: humor, funny, satire, dummies, idiots, goofball, advice, survival, humour
8)
The Clever Florida Manitee Plays Dumb While Being As Smart Or Smarter Than Dolphins
The Florida manatee has fooled us all for ages. We thought it was as slow to cogitate as its “sweet potato” body is to move. Never did the clever "sea cow" let on that it’s actually as brainy as, or perhaps even brainier than, a somersaulting dolphin. But now its lethargic disguise has been penetrated, thanks to the researches of a neuroscientist at the University of Florida.
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9)
Crafty No-Sew Costumes
You don't need a fairy godmother to magically transform pajamas, thermals and sweats into spectacular costumes without sewing a stitch. It takes little more than pixie dust and ingenuity:
• Fairy princess and ballerina costumes use a tee and leotard with a yard of tulle gathered at the waist. Add glittery trim to neckline and cuffs and a flower-covered headband.
article tags: crafty no-sew costumes
10)
Getting Educated Trivia Quiz
1. In 1949, following the Communists' victory in the civil war between Communists and Nationalists, the Common Program establishes the right of all citizens to education and the responsibility of the state to provide it. In which country did this take place?
A. Cuba
B. China
C. Japan
D. Vietnam
B. China
QQ: How many people got that right? The year shouldn’t have left much room for doubt…
2.
article tags: trivia, question, quiz, test, challenge, fact, holiday, history, contest, fun, humor
11)
Met Meets Greece's Request; Returns Ancient Toilet Seats
The Metropolitan Museum of Art, having recently agreed to return one of the finest vases in its collection from the Classical Age of Ancient Greece, has also consented to return the collected toilet seats from the ancient Cretan port city of Ephesus.
The decision has come as a welcome relief to the Greek tourist board, whose embarrassed guides annually answer the same question that tourists ask approximately a thousand times a day.
article tags: humor, laugh, laughs, laughter, news, newslaugh, comedy, fun, funny, spoof, spoofs, satire, joke, jokes
12)
Saddam Hussein Seeks Mcdonald's Francise
Saddam Hussein, in his latest bid to escape execution for crimes against his own people, has applied to McDonald’s for a franchise. The application is widely regarded as a move by his defense team to convince the court that, if his life is spared, he will be a model citizen in the Iraq of the future.
In his application, Hussein states that he has a great deal of fast-food experience from his months on the run.
article tags: news laugh humor comedy satire saddam hussein mcdonald's franchise trial defense
13)
Bill Clinton In Secret Talks With Hillary; Agrees To Run For Vice President
Former President Bill Clinton has been holding secret talks with his wife and wannabe President Hillary and has, the rumor mill informs us, agreed to be her Vice Presidential candidate.
In an exclusive interview, he confided, “Even though I want to help Hillary in every way I can, it wasn't an easy decision. After all, if you remember, I was the President.
article tags: humor, comedy, satire, political satire, laugh, joke, news, news laugh, newslaugh, laughs, laughter, spoof, spoofs, skit, skits
14)
100 Pounds Of Marijuana Found At Home Depot: Sold As Grass Seed
An unsuspecting contractor drove to his nearby Home Depot to buy a vanity. When he opened it, besides the usual shelves, he discovered two 50-lb bricks of marijuana.
Police were summoned and invited to the garden shop, where they were told the marijuana was being sold as a new kind of grass seed that offered entertaining prospects for homeowners and landscapers.
article tags: humor, comedy, satire, political satire, laugh, joke, news, news laugh, newslaugh, laughs, laughter, spoof, spoofs, skit, skits
15)
Cost vs. Quality for Inflatable Play Sets
You get what you pay for. For quality inflable sets, choose a quality company using durable materials for inflatbles that last.
article tags: inflatables, water slides, combos, moonwalks, theatre
16)
The Topless CPA
Todd, out of town on business and looking for a bit of comfort, knew he was in trouble when the topless dancer he just couldn’t say no to slipped his next twenty into her silver garter, and, with a twinkle in her green eyes, asked, “Would you like to go to the champagne room? It’s more private in there.”
Although this was Todd’s first visit to this.
article tags: humor, comedy, satire, news, news laugh, laugh, joke, laughs, jokes, laughter, spoof, spoofs, skit, skits
17)
Chickens 101 - How Not to Raise Poultry
Chickens 101 - How Not to Raise Poultry
article tags: chickens, raising, backyard, farming, hatchling, hens, pullets, rosters, country life, rural, relocation
18)
Come Out With Your Checkbook Open
Joey, daring the spotlights that were scanning the warehouse in which he was holed up, took a quick look out the window at the crowd below, and shouted, “Never, you dirty, rotten bill collectors!” Then he ducked back to the haven beneath the sill.
He recently got more into debt than usual – in fact, he found himself surrounded by it – and he was having a restless dream about the multitude of bill collectors who were haunting his mind.
article tags: humor, comedy, satire, political satire, laugh, joke, news, news laugh, newslaugh, laughs, laughter, spoof, spoofs, skit, skits
19)
A funny joke for entertainment
They keep telling me I am not funny. So I get confused because, as I grew up, my mother always told me how funny and intelligent I was. She said I was the smartest kid on the block, but now things look different. People say I’m always serious, never funny. I think I’m sometimes frightening them with my stiffness. Of course I don’t enjoy the “funny” remarks people make about my life when they say in such cute turns of phrase that I am a loser… I never get all those jokes about my bad haircut and about my ugly dog.
article tags: yo mama joke, funny joke, joke, funny, funny jokes, jokes
20)
Misspelled Scriptures
One way to confirm that cyberspace is the great equalizer is to observe the quality of editing that exists ...
I am truly amazed at the mangling endured by the English language on a significant number of sites. It's fair to assume that this malady has its roots in short attention spans during the school years. As a result, accuracy is often the first victim of poor spelling and grammar.
article tags: children's humor, children's quotes, bible misquotes, biblical misquotes, bible humor, funny bible quotes, kids bible quotes, cyberiter
21)
Is Your City Among the Nation's 'Funniest?'
If, as the saying goes, laughter is the best medicine, then the United States is one healthy nation.
Research commissioned by Shoebox, Hallmark's irreverent greeting card line, set out to find the hotbeds of humor in America. The result: Americans coast-to-coast love a good laugh.
Since California is home to movie and television studios, it's got to be the funniest state in the Union.
article tags: is your city among the nation's 'funniest?'
22)
PBS Fires Cinderella; Calls Display Of Bare Foot Scandalous
As if it wasn’t enough that PBS, the bastion of culture at the broadcast level, fired the host of the toddlertainment, ‘The Good Night Show.’ Reason given: The sweet thing, by the name of Melanie Martinez, who is beloved by moms and kids alike, appeared in her ancient history as an actress in two videos spoofing public service announcements that advocate teenage sexual abstinence.
article tags: humor, comedy, satire, political satire, laugh, joke, news, news laugh, newslaugh, laughs, laughter, spoof, spoofs, skit, skits
23)
US Missile Defense Intercepts Seagull; Cheney Present As Backup
The Defense Department announced that our ever-vigilant military managed to intercept and shoot down a seagull over the Pacific. To assure a successful outcome, Dick Cheney was invited to observe the launch of the interceptor missile, as long as he brought along his quail gun to act as a backup to the missile.
The seagull reportedly crashed into the sea, and there are so far no reports from whales or other sea creatures of the shredded bird or debris from the intercepting missile crashing onto their unsuspecting backs.
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24)
It's official. They are not together!
This announcement came after tabloid stories said that the couple's marriage was indeed on the rocks.
article tags: announcements, weddings, engagements
25)
Nightclub For Baby Boomes Raided; Patrons Nabbed For Dropping Antacid
A trendy new nightclub that caters to baby boomers who find themselves unexpectedly single was raided by police last night. Acting on a tip from a twenty-something couple who entered the hotspot by accident, police were able to determine that many of the partying patrons were dropping antacid.
The owner, who was taken away in cuffs, claimed, “I had no idea some of the customers were dropping that stuff.
article tags: humor, comedy, satire, news, news laugh, laugh, joke, laughs, jokes, laughter, spoof, spoofs, skit, skits
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